Darkness Lee

wat's happening to mi??? facing some internal changes or wat... im so confuse about myself... is it becos of stress??? hmmm.... im trying to look for an ans...

had chem ytd, it's a funny paper... kinda challenging... didn't finish 2 qns... did not noe how to ans.. hope tat i can score well, cos chem is one of the few sub tat im worried about... haiz!!! went to yoshi after tat wif jy, px, darren n tracz... didn't talk much ba... dont realli feel like talking... dun noe y... this fews days feel kinda gloomy? haiz... went back n tried to study for a maths, im kinda worried, cos it has been a long time since i last touch anithing about amaths... oh ya i did... i touch the test papers... i mean touch but not do... haiz! kinda forget quite alot of things liao... tried to revise n do tys but have a veri tired feeling... went to bed at about 1....

today a maths, didn't do one qns... didn't noe how to do... but noe how liao... brain not active la, need to practice more liao le... haiz! the paper was actually easier than wat i tink... but it's still diff la... it's actually a veri straight forward paper... except for maybe some parts??? overall was not bad... didn't have time to check through... kinda worried cos for this paper, i cut down on a lot of workings tat i use to do... just press the calculator, n i nv fail to make mistake when i press the calculator... just hope tat there wont be too mani mistakes... haiz! went to the foodcourt at admiralty to eat... totally in no mood to talk actually... but still talk... tried to look normal... but i tink i failed la... at px hse, didn't want to join them... on the bus, totally didn't want to talk... went to NTUC n thought tat looking at the food would make mi happy... cos i always enjoy looking n buying stuff so tat i can cook at hm... but..... haiz.... thought of buying candles... cos buying candles can realli make mi feel happier....... but i was disappointed when i saw the candles.... i wanted to say, "if u want to make candles, dont make it for the sake of making it.... make it for the passion u have in it... make candles wif love..." it might sound stupid but it's realli how i feel when i see candles... candle can stand for love, death, hatred, happy, sad... almost everything... n the person hu make the candle will affect the feelings of the person hu buy the candle... haiz.... n so i feel worse....

im just dont understand wat im feeling... i tink tat my heart is crying... for wat reason, i dont noe... it's not tat i want to sound chim or anithing... there's realli a weird feeling, my heart pumps faster, n feel as if it's filled wif acid... haiz! is it stress? i dont noe... im actually starting to enjoy all this studying tat im doing... n maybe starting to like exams.... it's just realli weird... i cant smile, i cant laugh although i try my best to... but i still fail... i can no longer laugh n smile like i use to... haiz! sorri to all my frenz, watever u guys say is funny, but i just cant laugh or smile... i so sorri... but dont need to worri about mi... i'll try to find the reason behind it....