perfections

Home, after 1.5hrs of orchestra performance at Bishan North. Crowd is ever the same. I look at you and talk, you look at me and dont respond. But how can I be not use to it. It has always been a I save me and I reply myself kind of situation. hahaha is all I can say =)

Again, I've been thinking alot recently. Thinking about how silly I am when it comes into relations with people, how strong I am when I face different challenges and most important, how lucky I am to be born into this family, this world and this me.

I am not a perfect girl, do not have a perfect family and do not live in a perfect world. And through all this imperfection, I start to learn that God is fair to all by being unfair and unequal to all. We always say that god is unfair, be it with regards to rich or poor, ugly or pretty, clever or stupid. But in actual fact, god is fair to all as it balances everything one have to make everyone equal.

Lucky, I am, very to be truthful. Born into a well to do family, given a nice family, not so bad look and character. Hardships, not really met any. Stages through life have been rather smooth. How smooth?

Kindergarten, top the whole Ang Mo Kio, well liked by all teachers.
Primary School, graduated with not so bad result and as head prefect, well liked by all teachers
Secondary School, graduated with not so bad results, as vice head and again well liked by teachers.
Joined numerous story telling comp, won scholarships, performed in orchestra, emceed and quite recognised.

I've lead a life that not many will actually get to try. Life has been perfect till I fell ill. The small imperfection that balances with others.

But still, I am lucky. lucky to be in this family. the ability to support me both financial and psychologically. Although my family doesn't give me much freedom but they are people who will always be there when I have any problems. Without them I wouldn't have been able to live till now.

God have made me a strong and independent lady. Able to survive well alone. But at the same time. It seems to have lessen the chances of her meeting the right ones. It's fair. Real fair, cos before it lower my chances, it gave me the ability to live without it. Lucky ain't I =)

There's just so so much I wanna say but cant say out. In short, I am just a lucky gal, a lucky imperfect gal =)